


An Angel’s Swarm

by mothmansantennae



Series: Reverse Omens [1]
Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Apocalypse, Basically, Bible Fanfiction ????, Demon quirks, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Historical Interactions, Ineffable Bureaucracy, M/M, Mesopotamia, OP Hates Henry VIII, Other, Post Apocalypse, Reverse Omens, Role Reversal, Rome - Freeform, Scene: Garden of Eden (Good Omens), background ineffable husbands, slowburn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-06 06:09:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 18,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21221864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothmansantennae/pseuds/mothmansantennae
Summary: AU in which Beelzebub and Gabriel are the ones to be sent to earth to tempt, bless, and keep the humans in check. Though, Beelzebub is a lot more violent than Crowley, and Gabriel is a lot dumber than Aziraphale.





	1. Just After the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Wow I’ve got too many ideas whoops. This started with some art of these two on a wall and I immediately translated that into the eden scene and here we are.

“Well, that went down like a lead balloon.”

Gabriel didn’t register the voice for a good few seconds. It was an odd voice. Buzzing caught in the back of its throat, the noise echoing in his head and bouncing off the corners of his skull. He glanced over, only to see someone standing next to him. Clad in black, much shorter than him, six pitch black wings extended from their back. “What?”

“I zzzaid, that went down like a lead balloon,” they buzzed, a hint of irritation to their voice. Small bugs crowded around them, ones that Gabriel didn’t know the names of. But they buzzed just like the voice. 

“Rather,” he muttered. He continued to stare at the figure. They had short, black hair, messy in a way he couldn’t comprehend. Like they didn’t care. Was that even possible? He didn’t think so. They were barefoot, their feet looked like walls after a house fire; tendrils of smoky black crawling up their legs. But, perhaps the most peculiar thing about them, was their eyes. No pupils, no color, other than red. All red. 

“It’zzz stupid, though… put a forbidden tree in the middle of a garden with a no touch sign. Why not put it up on a mountain?” They mused, watching as the two humans wandered about in the sand. “I don’t see what’zz so bad about knowing good from evil, anywayzzz.”

“Of course you wouldn’t, you’re a demon,” Gabriel muttered. That was a wild gander, they very well could have been some odd creature She made to keep the humans company. They hummed in amusement, confirming his statement. 

“Beelzebub,” they introduced shortly. How funny, he thought, their name did have the ring of their constant sound. 

“Oh— Gabriel.” The two stayed quiet (silent, aside from the buzzing) for a little while, just watching Adam and Eve. Beelzebub cocked their brow as it got dark, noticing light in the man’s hands. 

“You gave them your lantern,” they observed bluntly. 

“Oh— um. Well, they needed light and it will keep them warm, she’s already expecting, after all—“ the angel rambled, earning nothing but a chuckle from the demon. “Please don’t tell my boss,” he finished. 

With the dark came thunder. A deafening, foreboding rumble, signaling the rain to come. As it began drizzling around them, Beelzebub looked up in wonder. Their face seemed to light up, the first time they had smiled in a long time as they let the rain drip on their face. 

Gabriel thought about that first meeting often. That was his first, and for now, only, encounter with a demon. The swarm of Eden. Prince of sin. For all the titles, they seemed right bearable. Not like he thought demons were. 

Though, he supposed that could have been a trick. Was probably a trick. He shouldn’t have been so nonchalant about speaking to them, they could have right well discorporated him on the spot. 

Though, he hadn’t seen them since then. It was curious, he thought, they were supposed to be the field agent for earth, right? So why weren’t they on earth? At least, he didn’t think they were. He never sensed anything overwhelmingly demonic in the past thousand years.

Though, that was mostly just because he was oblivious. Beelzebub had done their job so well, in fact, that the human race was now considered. Too corrupt to live on. They were quite proud of that, note you. So proud, that they stood among the crowd watching Noah’s son wrangle up animals to push them onto the Ark. there was a smile playing at their lips, dimpled at the ends from where their fangs pressed into their lower lip. 

They still hadn’t gotten a handle on their eyes, so instead, wore a dark veil over their face, so humans were none the wiser to the abnormality. They were only interrupted from their silent gloating with a tap on their shoulder. 

“Beelzebub,” a painfully cheery voice rang through. They knew exactly who it was. Unlike him, Beelzebub had kept obsessive track of the angel’s whereabouts. They knew his voice well, and were never keen upon hearing it. 

“Gabriel,” they sneered. Gabriel had to admit the reaction surprised him. As far as he knew, they left on good terms. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, well, you know, divine intervention, all that.” He looked down, noting they still wandered barefoot, not yet adopting the sandals humans came up with lately. “Just making sure all goes to plan.”

“Boring,” they sighed. They watched as Shem lost a handle on a horned horse, the creature running away. A smirk tugged on their lips. Extinction, it is. “I’m just waiting for the carnage,” they hummed. “It’ll be rather lovely to watch the humanzzz go… hopefully it will be for good.” They knew it wouldn’t. But it was a nice thought. 

Gabriel scrunched up his nose, frowning. “That’s awfully dark…”

“Demon,” they reminded, flicking his nose. “Stupid angel.” He stepped back, holding his nose.

“Hey, that hurt!” He grumbled.

“Stupid, obliviouzzz angel.”

Their next meeting wasn’t on any better terms. Just about three thousand years later. Gabriel was slightly wiser to the adversary’s presence on earth, but wasn’t tracking them in any way. They were. They always knew where he was. 

So they weren’t at all surprised to see him at the crucifiction. He spotted the veiled figure from across the crowd, sighing. It would be stupid to go speak to them. 

So, of course, he did. “What do you want now? You weren’t content with staring at me from some bush?” They sighed, not even looking at him. 

“Ah— what—?”

“How funny, I can still smell your etheriality even in the presence of the son of god himzzzzelf.”

“What.. smell? Ethereality smells?”

“Terribly. Stings my nostrilzzz. It’zzz really disgusting.” They flicked some dirt off of their robe. “Anyways. I didn’t think you would want to see the crucifixion. Thought it’d be to gory for your poor celestial eyes,” they mocked. 

“You know, you used to be pretty nice. It’s a shame your time on earth corrupted you. How ironic.”

“I was never nice, just polite,” they countered. “Demonzzz aren’t nice. 

“Mm.”

Eight years was short, compared to what they usually went by. Thousands of years, that was normal. Eight, that was weird. But sure enough, eight years later, Gabriel observed Beelzebub drinking far too much with the other Roman aristocracy. They were really only here to set in motion the death of the emperor. They got themselves hired as a right hand, only to slowly fill him with poison and lust until he couldn’t function. 

They felt Gabriel’s stare on their back, eventually just looking back to him. “Take a picture, it will last longer.”

“Pictures don’t exist here yet, don’t talk like that,” Gabriel countered. “You’ll.. raises suspicion.”

“As if I haven’t raizzzed enough suspicion. Fine, carve a statue, it will last longer.” They finished off their cup of mead, quickly calling for another. “Why are you still in Rome?”

“Not your business, I don’t think,” Gabriel sniffed. “I could ask you the same thing.”

“And I would lie off my arse. Not the same.” They took another gulp. “Besides, it’s just weird to see you so soon. Wait another millenia before stalking up on me, at least.” Gabriel sighed, shaking his head. And yet, he still held onto that first interaction to be what Beelzebub really was. This was just work complication. They’d warm up one day.


	2. Florence, 1503

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woof my inner history gay POPPED

Beelzebub had quite enjoyed their stay in Italy. They had brought forth the renaissance, after all. Before then, all art was dedicated to god. Dedicated to _her_. They were rather proud of their ability to put knowledge over divination. The humans worshipped themselves now. Humanism. That’s what they called it. It was absolutely evil. The way they had planted narcissism, lust, greed… it was one of their greatest feats.__

_ _And the absolute _luxury_ of it all, it was great. They took fair part in it, they had to admit. Expensive silk, gowns, masks, they loved it. So incredibly superfluous. Florence and Venice had become their favorite places, and influencing artists had become their favorite pastime. Specifically, Leonardo Da Vinci. They’d lead him to hatred, lust, homosexuality. Self portraits, invention, messing up the laws of nature with his creations. He was a living testament of temptation.___ _

_ _ _ _He had gotten eyes for a woman by the name of Lisa del Giocondo, and was now cooped up in his studio with both her and his apprentice. He was bickering with the boy, they would soon break ties over artistic differences. Da Vinci would name the portrait _Mona Lisa_, claiming dominion over the girl. If all went as they planned, her husband, Francesco del Giocondo, would suspect adultery, and send her off to a covenant as punishment. How ironic, they thought, knowing that the smile painted on Lisa’s face was that of Da Vinci’s male lover.___ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _So, needless to say, they were very happy with themselves. They were at a party now, a small reward for the corruption they brought. An extravagant black silk gown adorned their small frame, a mask set to hide their face. They were too caught up in talking, dancing, and drinking to notice the sudden angelic presence in the ballroom._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Gabriel, over the past fifteen hundred or so years, had honed in his ability to sense demonic miracles and the like. He was wise to Beelzebub’s presence near the wine kegs. He noticed, their swarm of flies had disappeared, replaced by a small, jeweled brooch holding a sash to their gown. It was much prettier, he decided, with ruby encrusted eyes and crystal wings. He could still hear the buzzing, but that was just their aura._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _They looked so happy now. Laughing, joking, speaking perfect Italian along with the natives. It was odd that they seemed not to notice him. They always noticed him first. Maybe they were too hammered. No, they weren’t stupid enough to get blackout drunk around so many humans. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _The angel was covered in a cape, feathers and gold adorning his suit. He tried to convince himself that he despised the luxury of it, though he really had come to adore the magnificent fashion humans had created. His shoes clacked against the marble floor as he approached them, reaching out to tap their shoulder. As he always did._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _They turned to look, their smile fading into a frown. “Oh, come on,” they groaned. “Every time I think I’ve got a good time ahead of me, you show up,” they buzzed, irritated in every manor._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Come now,” Gabriel tried. “I’m not really here on work, lighten up some. Can I not say hello to a colleague?” he set his hand on their shoulder, though the demon immediately pulled away._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Colleague?” they scoffed. “Enemy. Don’t reduce me down to the other angels. _They’re_ your colleagues.” The humans that had been speaking to the prince stared in confusion. They didn't understand what they were saying, but they saw they were mad.___ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Bee,” Gabriel chuckled. “It wouldn’t be reducing you, if you think about it. Shouldn’t it be a compliment?” he asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Hardly. Glad to be rid of you all,” they huffed. “What are you doing here, wank wingzz?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Sobering those up who get themselves in danger. It’s pretty common now, alcohol poisoning. They’ve gotten their hands on corks, as I’m sure you noticed.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I gave them corkzzz, of course I noticed,” they sniffed. “In any case. Of courzze you’d be in Italy, trying to get them to paint Mother Mary, hm?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“That’s a good idea, actually. Michael truly hates this whole Humanism thing, she really wants me to stamp it out.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Isn’t it lovely?” they grinned. “Pride has become so prevalent. I love the self portraits,” they mused. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I have to disagree,” he sighed. “Though, I’d assume you’d love it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _One of the men that had been conversing with them tapped their shoulder. “Izabella,” he murmured, “Chi è questo ragazzo?” the man looked vaguely intimidating, looking right about ready to impale Gabriel. Beelzebub waved off the question. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Un collega,” they muttered, making Gabriel laugh some._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“So you can call me a colleague, but not the other way around?” he mused, tapping his chin. Beelzebub rolled their eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Sorry, let me just explain my infernal stance and expose us both to a roundhouse of humans,” they droned. “You really are stupid.” Gabriel just gave them a gentle smile. That blessed gentle, loving smile. It made their cheeks flare red. “Well,” they grumbled. “I’ve got to go tempt someone into premarital sex. Ciao,” they sighed, waving him off as they walked away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Gabriel glanced to the man who had threatened him earlier, waving some before he walked away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more alternate scene left before I return to the actual timeline :)


	3. London, 1547

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a personal penchant for Henry VIII. Enjoy.

Whatever had been done in England, Aziraphale was enraged. Gabriel was immediately sent there, and soon, saw what was so terrible. The entire country, broken away from the church, to twist it into something vaguely Christian. His assignment was simple. Get yourself into court. Try to persuade Henry back to catholicism. That was it. It wasn’t supposed to be so hard. 

He had just simply started to do his work. Get the king to like him. That was all. There was definitely demonic energy in the castle, but with the current situation, that didn’t necessarily mean a demon. There was gossip among the court, though (of which Gabriel didn’t participate in, obviously) of a succubus. That a succubus was causing all of this. This definitely got the angel’s attention. 

It was plausible. Cheating and divorce and anger. It could have right well been a succubus. The question was, how on earth was he to find out, when the demon would be contained to the King’s bed chambers? Listen to more gossip? Would it be a sin, if it was for glorious purposes? Perhaps. But, the maids were the only ones allowed in there. And the Queen, but she was currently locked up in the Tower of London. 

So, new plan. Make friends with the maids. Get into their gossip. They didn’t have much trouble, he noticed, spilling the secrets he needed. A girl, clad in a short black nightgown, had been seen through the cracks of the door at night, making sinful noises in the King’s lap. That was certainly something, but it didn’t prove demonic intervention. 

So he waited. He laid low. Waited. Waited until the maids mentioned that the girl had begun to be seen around the castle. Whispering in Henry’s ear. Being quite too friendly with the new queen. Still clad in black. Small, smaller than the Queen. Red eyes. 

So, he kept his eyes peeled. Watched the Queen. Watched the king. Eventually, he would see her. Glances. He would catch the end of her skirt as she whipped around corners. See her beside the king. So, he knew there was someone. Someone pulling strings. 

He kept his eyes peeled. The next time he saw her, he would catch her. He stayed alone, away from crowds. That was where he saw her the most. 

He finally caught sight of black lace disappearing behind a corridor. He lept up, running after it. He just grabbed onto her arm. And her skin… _stung._ it stung him. He quickly let go. It seemed to have the same effect on the other. __

_ _“Idiot!” Well, that was a familiar voice. “You know better than to touch my skin, wank wingzz!”_ _

_ _“...Beelzebub?” He cocked a brow, finally looking up to them. Yep, that was them. “You’re the one seducing the king?”_ _

_ _“Who else would it be?” They quipped, rubbing their wrist, watching it blister up. “Isn’t that why you came?”_ _

_ _“No,” he murmured, tilting his head. “Came to convince the king. How would I have known you were the one behind this?”_ _

_ _“Have you not been tracking me? Are you that stupid?” They sighed, shaking their head. “Plus, you always show up when I’m this successful.”_ _

_ _Gabriel took a moment to process that. Not a succubus. Much worse. A prince of hell. He groaned, rubbing his face. “Aziraphale is going to kill me! I’m supposed to get this place back to Catholicism by the time he dies!” _ _

_ _Beelzebub rolled their eyes, smiling gently. “Try Mary, she’s pretty damn catholic. King’s mine, though, he’s already going to hell.” They laughed to themselves. “How funny, he’s going to have Katherine executed for being too close to Thomas, soon. And here he is, fucking someone else every night.”_ _

_ _“Don’t use that kind of language,” he sighed. “How do you know she’ll be executed?”_ _

_ _“Call it premonition? And a good amount of persuasion, on my part. I’ve got Edward pretty well in my grasp, too. He’ll die young, what a shame.”_ _

_ _“I assume that’s premonition, too?”_ _

_ _“Nope, that’s Syphilis. A lovely disease, really, Dagon came up with it. Spreads rather quickly when the King’s a whore. Either way, Jane gave it to Edward when he was born. He shouldn’t make it past sixteen.” They sighed happily. “And then the carnage in the fight for the throne. It will be fun.”_ _

_ _Gabriel flinched a bit. “That’s terrible.”_ _

_ _“I know,” they hummed, clasping their hands together. “Took a lot of effort, but it should go well. It just gets awful lonely when Henry’s the only one I’ve got to talk to, and you know how helpful that is. He gets awfully mad when I write, so I haven’t really had the chance to report to hell. Hope Crowley won’t chew my arse out,” they muttered. _ _

_ _“Well—“ Gabriel sighed. “You’re talking to me now, aren’t you?” He pointed out. “You can always talk to me, seems like I’m stuck until Edward dies.”_ _

_ _“And risk getting my head chopped off for ‘adultery?’” They chuckled. “Maybe. I suppose you get how it goes, after all,” they sighed. “Have you got your own chamber?”_ _

_ _“Of course I do,” he hummed. “I assume you don’t?”_ _

_ _“Sleep in the hayhouses when the queen is around,” they answered. “You’d think he would treat me better, I’ve lasted longer than all of his wives combined.”_ _

_ _“Well, you know he’d kill you if you married him,” Gabriel couldn’t help but chuckle. They were practically spilling their plans on him. They really did need to talk. “Come by when she does, a floor and cushions should be better than dirt.”_ _

_ _They gave him a smile. A genuine smile. One he hadn’t seen since the first storm. “Yeah, I guess it would. Thankzzz.”_ _

_ _

_ _Gabriel didn’t expect Beelzebub to take him up on his offer. Sharing a room with an angel, he expected that to be unappealing. Then again, they’d been sharing a _bed_ with the king for years, so it couldn’t get much worse. ___ _

_ _ _ _Sure enough, when Katherine returned from her outing, there was a knock on Gabriel’s door. He expected it to be testy court member, so was actually quite pleased to see the demon standing there. “Oh,” he hummed, grinning. “Hey, bee.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _They hurried themselves in as not to be seen, sighing heavily. “Jesuzz, that man is a nightmare,” they muttered, rubbing their temples. Gabriel chuckled softly as he watched them take off their hood. Their hair was longer now, probably because for the most part, female shaped beings were expected to have long hair, and these days, there was no middle ground for gender like they preferred. He had to say, he liked it. It was pulled back into a long, dark braid, messy from being stuck under a french hood. They were doing pretty well blending in. They had gotten control of their eyes, which now looked like any human’s, just red. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“You’re telling me. I have to work with him,” Gabriel hummed, closing and locking the door. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Work is nothing compared to what I’m doing, trust me. He used to be pretty attractive, too. No clue what women see in him nowadays.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“They see his power,” he sighed idly. “Power is all anyone wants these days, it seems.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Yeah, but… he has other ladies that go to bed with him. They won’t get power. They’ll get the Boleyn treatment. They’ve gotta see something, something I don’t. Maybe cause I know how disgusting he izzz.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Perhaps,” he hummed, beginning to gather cushions and blankets to make a little nest for Beelzebub. “Are you still going by Izabella here?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Yeah, not like it matters, no one talks to or of me.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“They talk of you, alright. Think you’re a succubus.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“How low,” they grumbled. “Do me a favor and help me get out of this damn dress?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Gabriel laughed some, stepping behind them as he began to unlace the complicated garment. “Thought you liked these.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Liked ‘em in Italy. Made to be comfortable. Thezze.. just made to be pretty.” They sighed in relief once the stiff bodice and stays were undone, their shoulders falling to their average slouch. They crawled out of the thing, relieved just to be in their combinations for a bit. It would have been scandalous for any mortal, but the romans did tend to run around naked. It was nothing for the occult, or the celestial, for that matter. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _They stretched out their shoulders, groaning quietly at the pain it caused. “Satan, that’s nice,” they sighed, moving to untie their hair. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Got tired of short hair?” He hummed, sitting back on the bed. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“No, it’s just pretty taboo for a female shaped whatever to keep it that way.” They let it fall over their shoulders, moving to scratch their scalp to release the tension the braid had caused. “Don’t even get me started on these blessed hoodzz. Thing is like an oven,” they sighed. Their hair was a bit frizzy from sweat, the sight making Gabriel redden just a bit. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I’d bet. Makes you really miss the days togas were in style.” He watched as they kicked the restrictive garments aside, sitting down in the little bed they’d been made. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Thanks for the hospitality, angel,” they buzzed. He blinked a few times. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Was that… genuine gratitude? Coming from a demon?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Don’t get used to it.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Beelzebub was right about getting their head chopped off. Henry saw them as _his_, so finding them on another man’s floor in what equates to their undergarments was scandalous. Luckily, it wasn’t connected back to Gabriel. No one knew where he slept, because he didn’t often sleep. They just knew it was a court member’s room. ___ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Henry was between wives right now, so it wouldn’t sully his reputation to have a mistress. Gabriel attended the execution, on request of Beelzebub. It was not so kind and soft as Anne’s or Katherine’s. People were convinced they were guilty, they had no power over the people, and they were lead to the chopping block with a smile. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _When they were told to ask god of forgiveness, Gabriel was prepared for whatever blasphemy they were about to spew. Instead, though, it was a laugh. A buzzing, deep laugh, one that thoroughly shook all the mortals present. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“I shan’t azzk forgiveness from God, no. She’zzz done away with me quite a long time ago. I know I’m going straight to hell, but at leazzzt I’ll take the king with me!” They laughed softly, sweeping their hair aside. Their eyes found Gabriel in the crowd. “See you in a few hundred,” they hummed, kneeling down. They placed their head on the bloodied chopping block, a maniacal smile on their lips. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Add blasphemy to the list of sins!” One man cried out, prompting the rest of the crowd to riot. The executioner merely nodded, sighing as he propped his axe up on his shoulder._ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Awful sorry, Miss Bella,” he murmured, making them hum. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Don’t mention it, just tell me that blade is sharp.”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _And with that, the axe was brought down to hit their neck. The cut was clean and swift, the blade just as sharp as Beelzebub had hoped. From where blood would have pooled, instead, leaked a thick, black liquid. It sent the crowd into utter hysteria, calling out, “Witch! Demon!”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Gabriel had to chuckle. Of course they would pull something like that._ _ _ _ _ _


	4. London, 1941

Prophecy. How had Hitler come across wanting Prophecy? He had to laugh about it. He had to chuckle. The worst of the worst. Adolf Hitler. Wanting prophecy. Gabriel could prophecize of his own. He would lose, and go to hell. He knew about what Adolf had been doing behind the scenes. The concentration camps. The lynching. Things he dared not admit to his allies, even some of his own. For all they knew, this was a war for land. Not for genocide. Not for cleansing. 

For murder. 

Gabriel had half a mind to think Beelzebub at thought. Though, they seemed to be rather fond of the Jews. And slaughter of homosexuals and Gypsies just seemed out of their style. Not everything terrible had to be attributed to demons. Sometimes there was just true darkness in the heart of a human. Some evil deeds were entirely natural. 

He wouldn’t see Hitler himself, no. But he could take out a few of his close consorts. He didn’t even actually bring prophecies. They were just run of the mill books. Ones quite worn and used. 

He thought himself quite clever, now, using the mortal girl to double-cross the Nazis. No blood would be directly on his hands, and yet, the deed would be done. It seemed perfect. 

And in a church. Where he was strongest. He could kill them himself if he wanted to. He didn’t, but he could. He thought it all quite smart. Calling Nazis “Suckers” was a death wish otherwise. 

And then, the gun, the gun that should have been on the Nazis, was on him. Pointed right at him. Double crossed by a double crosser. He supposed he could resign himself to the discorporation. There weren’t any real prophecy books, he wasn’t that stupid. Though, a certain demon may disagree. 

A certain demon who had predicted this. A certain demon that was now painfully sauntering (or at least, as well as they could saunter on consecrated ground) down the aisle. Gabriel whipped around to look at them. “Bee?!” He hissed. “What are you—“

“Sorry, consecrated ground,” they muttered as they basically hopped over. “Like… walking on the beach in bare feet—“

“What are you doing?!“ Gabriel began.

“Stopping you from fucking dying—“ they began, only to get cut off by one of the Nazis. 

“Izabella Z Bernadi,” she laughed, shaking her head. “What the hell are you doing with this lowlife American—“

“Bernadi?” Gabriel asked, cocking a brow. 

“Don’t like it?” They asked, trying to stay still, and failing miserably. 

“No, no, I didn’t say that,” he began, making the humans awfully confused at his apparent nonchalance. “Ah, what’s the Z stand for?”

“Eh, Uh, just a Z, really,” they stammered, shrugging. “You know. It’s a good letter.”

Gabriel merely laughed, with a gun pointed at his chest. The woman scrunched up her face. “You’re laughing, and you’ve got a gun pointed to your chest. Are you crazy?”

“I mean, go ahead, kill me, it will just be a lot of paperwork,” he mused. 

“Gabriel,” Beelzebub warned with a sigh. They dashed forward to snatch the gun from her hand, placing it onto her head. They didn’t waste time in pulling the trigger. 

“Place is about to be bombed, anyways,” they muttered, dropping the gun. “So if you _don’t_ want that paperwork,” they were still hopping from foot to foot. So much so that Gabriel just sighed, dropping the case of books and scooping them up. __

_ _“It was an idiot move to come here,” he murmured, kicking the gun away as the other two watched in some mix of awe and horror. The demon huffed, rolling their eyes._ _

_ _“5… 4… 3….”_ _

_ _“Fine, fine!” Gabriel managed to snap his fingers right before the bomb dropped. It still hurt like all hell, the two being buried in the rubble. Beelzebub coughed and sputtered as they crawled out, their suit being torn and dirtied in the process. _ _

_ _“Fucking Nazis,” they muttered, pushing themselves to stand. They looked around for Gabriel, though had to dig through a good amount of rubble to find him. “You’re an idiot,” they sighed as they helped him up. _ _

_ _“Says the demon who just walked through a church.”_ _

_ _“To save your arse, mind you. Don’t get high and mighty.”_ _

_ _“I’m an angel, it’s my job,” he countered. “Oh, dear, look at what it’s done to my suit,” he muttered, looking at all the tears and skids. “This was my favorite, too—“_ _

_ _With a snap of Beelzebub’s fingers, the suit was clean and pristine again, not a scratch in sight. They said nothing about it, skipping to, “Need a lift home?”_ _

_ _“I don’t quite have.. home.. right now,” he laughed in a bit of embarrassment. “You know, bombings, all of that.”_ _

_ _Bee merely rolled their eyes, grabbing his wrist. They had both become used to the sting of contact over the years. They red him to a car, obviously German in design. “This girl’s one of the first rollouts. Hitler got volkswagen to design them. Call them Beetles.”_ _

_ _“How… fitting.”_ _

_ _“What’s that supposed to mean?” They cocked a brow, pulling themselves into the driver’s seat. _ _

_ _“Oh, just. Flies. Beetles. Bugs.” He pulled open the passenger side, sliding in carefully. The car was surprisingly clean. Immaculately clean. For a demon, it would be uncomfortably clean. _ _

_ _They didn’t say much before jumping into full speed. Sure, they could drive just fine and safe, but where’s the fun in that? Driving like a maniac was much more fun, and got people out of the way. Gabriel was grabbing at whatever stability he could, his knuckles bright white from the pressure. He didn’t breathe until they parked outside of a house containing two flats. _ _

_ _“There…” Gabriel began. “There are roadlaws, bee! You can’t just—“_ _

_ _“Since when do I follow the rules?” They laughed, shutting off the car and getting out. “I’m top floor. Don’t bug the lady down here, she hates me.”_ _

_ _Gabriel merely nodded, shaking as he exited the vehicle. He followed them up to the top flat, being sure to not even glance at the aforementioned woman._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell these two are WAY less careful than Aziraphale and Crowley? God, help these idiots


	5. Angel & Islington, 20:32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the forties, whoops 😳😳😳

“So… it wasn’t you who tempted Hitler?” Gabriel murmured as he looked around the flat. It was like their car. Clean, dark, smelled of brimstone. Not overwhelmingly. It wasn’t bad. 

“Satan, no. He tempted himself. Jewish girl dumped him on a bench, and he got rejected from a Jewish art school. I think you see where I’m going.” They sighed, pulling off their jacket to leave them in a button up, clad in red suspenders. “Besides, if it were me, the concentration camps would be a lot different. I’m more of a fan of visceral torture. Letting them starve, gassing, shooting squads… a little too passive. Too widespread, too. It’zzz right evil, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not looking forward to caring for his sorry soul in hell.”

“I’m glad you at least think that’s where he’s going,” Gabriel huffed. His eyes trailed to the patch of skin exposed above two undone buttons of their shirt. He had become quite fond of them over the years. Too fond, but he wouldn’t admit that. Subconscious temptation, that had to be what it was. Angels didn’t take such interest in bodies. 

Though… when they slept on his floor, he memorized how their back arched when they stretched in the morning, how they clung to pillows and wrapped themselves in blankets. Memories he liked to relive. Sometimes, when they had bad dreams, they would pant after they woke up. He had sometimes wondered what that panting would be like in a different situation. 

He shivered, shrugging off the thoughts. “Your flat is nice,” he murmured, continuing to look around. There were no interior walls, it just looked like a huge studio apartment. It was sort of refreshing. The dark colors made it feel warm and lived in. They walked to the small kitchen, opening the white ice chest to pull out some milk.

“Want any?” They buzzed, pouring themselves a glass and sipping at it. “It isn’t rancid yet, don’t worry.” Gabriel had to laugh at the clarification. 

“I’m alright. Thank you, though.” They shrugged, bringing the glass to their lips and gulping it down. 

“You can take the couch, if you like. I haven’t got any spare blanketzzz, though. You’ll have to share the bed for that one,” they teased. They had meant it as a joke. Well, sort of. 

“I wouldn’t mind sharing, if you wouldn’t,” he shrugged. Beelzebub went bright red. 

“Ngk— kay.” They nodded a bit, looking away. They finished off their glass, moving to hide behind a dressing curtain. “What are you even doing in London, anywayzzz?” They called. 

“Oh,” Gabriel sighed some as he sat on the bed. “Meant to kill those Nazis. You saw how well that worked out.” They snorted in laughter, making him redden. They hadn’t laughed like that in the first four thousand years he’d known them. Now, he noticed that laugh gave him a distinct bubbly feeling in his chest. 

They stepped out with their suit draped over their arm, having changed into some short pajamas fitting for the wartime ration of fabrics. Gabriel didn’t speak for a moment. How did they look so nice in both a disheveled suit, and dainty pajamas? He sighed gently. “W-well, anyways. Thanks for saving me. It was very kind of you.”

“Shut up,” they rolled their eyes, tossing the ruined slacks in the rubbish bin. 

“Well, it was. You very well could have let me get shot.”

“And you’d never stop complaining about the paperwork,” they reminded, fluffing out their short hair from the hat it had been hidden under for the day. “I was saving my own arse, if you think about it,” they mused, falling back into the bed before crawling under the blankets. Gabriel glanced over at them, smiling faintly. He had never seen them in hell. He knew they probably didn’t look the same, because they presented themselves so perfect. Now that they had made active changes to their corporation, that was. They had settled on some piercing blue eyes, and their skin was a perfect, even canvas. And even though their hair was always a mess, he’d come to love it. He watched him do that familiar stretch as they settled down. 

“If you don’t sleep, don’t stare at me,” they reminded, shutting their eyes tightly.

“I don’t stare,” he said pointedly. 

“You totally do. I woke up with you staring at me four times in one year.”

“Four out of three-hundred and sixty-five, hm?” He rolled his eyes, leaning back on the pillows. “Goodnight, bee.”

“Don’t call me that,” they yawned, soon nodding off to sleep. Gabriel, of course, immediately ignored his instructions. He never technically agreed. They shifted around, one of their legs on top of the covers, probably something about temperature regulation. He wouldn’t know. He just knew it gave him the opportunity to gently run his fingers up their leg. They shivered, letting out an uncoloured buzz. He smiled some, glancing up to their face. They really were adorable like this, lips slightly parted, freckles dusting their cheeks apparent in the moonlight. 

He let his hand rest on the dip of their waist, waiting to see if they’d push him away. When they didn’t, he shifted to lay beside them, keeping his hand in place. He found the foreign act of sleeping to come easy that night, especially when Beelzebub’s warm body was pushed back against him. 

The first thing Beelzebub said when they woke up, wasn’t anything to push Gabe away, or question him. It was, “You _slept_ in your fucking suit? Do you not have nerve endingzzz?”__

_ _He blinked groggily, groaning as he sat up. Hand still on their waist. There was a welt up their leg from where his fingers had danced before. “Jezzuzz, I’ll get you some pajamas, you dumbass,” they muttered, rolling their eyes as they stretched their arms above their head. They hadn’t registered the hand on their bare waist, or the red mark on their leg. Gabriel was grateful for that. They merely laid back down, resuming their former position nuzzled into his chest. They were too tired, and he was too warm. _ _

_ _He smiled softly, running a hand through their hair. “Sorry?” He tried, sleep heavy in his voice. “Didn’t expect to sleep,” he murmured._ _

_ _“Whatever,” they mumbled, voice muffled by Gabriel’s sweater. He watched them contentedly, though his mind raced. They were one to kill whenever someone touched them. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep holding them, sure they’d discorporate him in the morning. Yet, here they were, cuddled close into his chest. He had to laugh. _ _

_ _“What?” They groaned, hitting his chest softly. “Stop moving…”_ _

_ _“Nothing, it’s… you don’t let people touch you, is all.” He saw the blood rush to their face, but neither of them acknowledged it. _ _

_ _“I tolerate you, and you are warm,” they muttered shortly, going silent again. _ _

_ _That was probably as good of an answer as he was going to get._ _


	6. Manhattan, 2001

Beelzebub had not expected to miss Gabriel when he travelled to America for something or other. Hadn’t expected the bed to be so cold, the mornings so dull. The drinking so lonely. Had they taken his company for granted? Should they have pushed for more, for what they wanted? Nine years was more than enough time to develop a crush. Buckled with the past six thousand years, they were sure it was past a crush. More like unrequited love. 

They took another glass of whiskey back. 

There were so many times they could have kissed him, could have told him. They couldn’t even say that word, though, and it hurt to think of it. Demons weren’t supposed to be capable of love. Then, was it love? Or just infatuation? No, they were sure it was love. Because, with love, came misery. The lonely misery of waiting for him to return to London. Lonely misery of the past fifty years. Six hundred bottles, at least, of cheap liquor, poisoning their corporation. Letting their mind ease. 

They missed the red marks he left on their body. Missed falling asleep in his lap. Missed his hands running though their hair, missed being wrapped up in his wings. Satan, they never thought these ramblings would come about an angel. Never thought they would come, period. Hoped they would never come, maybe. Could demons hope? They didn’t know. They were too drunk. They didn’t bother much to get up and work, just pulled strings from home. Monitored things from a controlled environment. A controlled environment full of alcohol and places to pathetically cry. 

It wasn’t even as if he had left earth. Just the country. It was America, for Satan’s sake. It wasn’t far. They could easily fly over and pop in for a hello. Would that be creepy? Maybe they just put themselves in the same city. That always seemed to work. He always seemed to find him when they were that close. 

Then, what would be an excuse for them to go to the American heart? There should be a terrorist attack sometime in the next year, they could use that. Same city and everything. Yeah. Sounded like a good idea in their head. Their drunk-off-its-ass head. They hadn’t left their flat in, what, twenty years? What were humans wearing these days?

They pushed themselves to wander over to the window, watching as they scattered about. Something that looked like fishing net. They liked that. Black, simple shirts, shorts, boots. That’s what they settled on. They could miracle themselves an airport ticket when they got there. They didn’t have the effort to perform a miracle much bigger than that. Just to trudge our to the beetle, their baby. She was dusty from years of idling. That was fixed with a snap of their fingers. 

They didn’t much know how humans worked airports. They were relatively new. A quick security scan, then you were supposed to find where to go. They didn’t have the effort to manually look it up, so just figured out the next Manhattan flight and gave themselves a ticket. Knock out for the flight. Wake up in a new country. It was kind of cool. Much nicer than a boat. Only took six hours to get to America. 

Gabriel immediately noticed the infernal presence in the city as soon as they landed. He was here to help guide the current president, like he had for the last few decades. He lit up at the thought that it might be Beelzebub. But, no. Best not to hope. Probably something that would be a thorn in his side. Best to be prepared for the worst. 

He finished his coffee, looking around the shop. Should he start actively looking for the demon? Get it over with? It wouldn’t give them a chance to do much. At most, kill and tempt a few people. Better than letting them lurk and plot. He could say he was doing a security brief. 

Except, this particular demon was very good at hiding. How ironic. He couldn’t pinpoint them. Couldn’t smell anything. Just knew when they were doing something they shouldn’t. It had been a week. That was longer than he would have liked. One could get a lot done in a week. 

The other politicians had noticed the shift in his personality. He was more jumpy. Quieter. It was affecting his work. He just wanted to find this damned thing. 

How funny, then, that he only ran into them when he gave up on finding them. 

He was late to work. Dodging around people, trying not to drop anything. Balancing a briefcase and a cup of hot coffee. A cup, that was promptly spilled all over whoever had bumped into them. 

The figure yelped at the contact of the hot liquid. “Watch where you’re going, you—“ they were flicking it off, looking very angry. But Gabriel just had a smile on his face. 

“Sorry, Bee.” They glanced up, their brows furrowing.

“Don’t see me in however long, so you decide to chuck coffee on me?” They tried their best to sound angry, but it eventually dissolved into laughter. Gabriel forgot that he was late. He wrapped them up into a hug, lifting them off the ground. They giggled uncontrollably, hitting his back and kicking their legs. 

“Let me down,” they cackled, eventually wiggling out of his grasp. Their skin was red where he touched, but they didn’t care. 

“What are you doing in America?” He asked, pulling them aside. 

“Something I can’t say,” they folded their arms. “You’ve got two higher ups I’ve got to avoid, now.” They watched him tilt his head. “Speaking of, when on earth were you planning to return to London, hm?”

Gabriel shrugged some. “Planned.. four years ago. Then bush got elected, and, well.. I’m not going to say I don’t trust him, but I don’t trust him. You know?”

“Oh, whatever,” they grinned, folding their arms. “You knew I’d beat your ass when you got back.”

“It isn’t my fault phones _just_ became readily available. Couldn’t exactly call you on that hunk of metal you keep in the flat.”__

_ _“I’ll have you know, I got it replaced in ‘86.”_ _

_ _“That’s still fifteen years ago, silly,” he hummed. “We’re getting you a mobile while you’re here, little devil.”_ _

_ _They were about to protest the name, but found they didn’t have it in them. “Fine, fine. If you come back soon. Bed’s cold without you.” They hadn’t meant to mumble that last bit, a hand flying up to their mouth. Satan, please not let him have heard._ _

_ _But, of course, he did. He laughed softly, patting their head. “Then stay with me while you’re here. I’ve got to get going, but if I give you my apartment’s address and code, you can hang out there. That’s assuming you don’t have more important matters to tend to.”_ _

_ _They muttered something about “of course I don’t,” watching as Gabriel took their hand, scribbling instructions onto their hand. He ruffled their hair once more before stepping back._ _

_ _ “Sorry about the coffee, by the way,” he hummed, running off to where he needed to be. Beelzebub looked at their hand, unable to help but grin like a schoolgirl. It took him long enough to find them. _ _

_ _They quickly found out they didn’t like American addresses. Finding the building was hard enough, and then they had to figure out how to get in. They really were bad at technology. _ _

_ _The apartment was so very… him. White, clean. Angular. It smelled like him. Lavender and vanilla. They plopped down onto the couch, drinking that smell up. They missed this so much. They hugged a pillow close to their chest, their buzzing almost becoming a purr. They really could feel his presence all around here. _ _

_ _And… the presence of… others. Other women. A few men. That made their heart drop. It wasn’t unreasonable to think that Gabriel May have tired of dancing in circles around the demon, and moved on. They didn’t like that thought. They just held the pillow close, curling up around it. As they always had done. They didn’t know how long they had stayed like that until Gabriel came home. _ _

_ _He smiled faintly, thinking they were asleep. So, when he scooped them up in his arms, they went with it. Anything to be this close to him. He set them in the proper bed, after pulling off their boots, covering them tightly as he remembered they liked. In a little cocoon. They couldn’t help but smile and squirm around. Gabriel cocked a brow. “Why you little devil! Mean to tell me you were awake?”_ _

_ _“Maybe,” they buzzed, opening their eyes to look up at him. There was a sharp grin on their face, and Gabriel could see the wounds from where their fangs had worried and chewed away at their lower lip. _ _

_ _He fought the urge to reach down and kiss those wounds, shower beelzebub in long held away love and praise. They probably wouldn’t like that. They had probably moved along into another mortal’s bed. It didn’t stop him from staring for a minute, though. Even torn apart by teeth, their lips were just as tempting as he remembered. Instead, he spoke. Still inches away from their face. _ _

_ _“How do you like New York?”_ _

_ _“Everyone’s so rude here. It’s great. I’ve stabbed three already,” they said proudly. Gabriel should have been disgusted, but he just laughed endearingly._ _

_ _“The NYPD is terrible, they’ll never find you.”_ _

_ _“Hope not. They can’t find me if I’m holed up in here.”_ _

_ _“You’ve never been able to stay in one place for long,” he tsked._ _

_ _“Hey, I didn’t even leave the flat for 20 years, give me some credit. His smile fell some. _ _

_ _“Bee, that isn’t very healthy.”_ _

_ _“Who needs health when you’re immortal?” They rolled their eyes. “Immortal til you spike my drinks with holy water.” _ _

_ _Gabriel furrowed his brows. “Mentally, I mean. You know I wouldn’t do that, either..”_ _

_ _They shrugged, closing their eyes. “Whatever, wank wingzzz…”_ _

_ _Gabriel sighed, sitting up. “Bee, really, what’s gotten into you?”_ _

_ _They dodged the question, not even responding to it. “Speaking of Bee, that’s my name now. The whole separation of girls and boys is fading and I love it.”_ _

_ _Gabriel couldn’t help but smile a bit. They had taken the name he’d given them and rolled with it. “Bee, what?”_ _

_ _“Bee Z Belial. And no, I’m not telling you what the Z is.” He grinned a bit, thinking back to that conversation. It was hard not to just pick them up, hold them, love them. _ _

_ _“Fine. Well, let’s get you outside for a bit. We can go shopping— American fashion is really something!” They opened their eyes, ready to argue, but merely smiled._ _

_ _“Yeah, sure.”_ _


	7. Soho, 2008

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m gonna take this oppertunity to say I tried my best to exactly mirror the scenes from the show between original scenes, but this is exclusively from memory oops. 
> 
> Also designs for modern Bee and Gabriel are entirely copied off of @AiriTree on Instagram’s Worst Omens AU. I got their permission don’t worry kids uwu
> 
> Also. Adam and Warlock are also switched. uwu

Two demons sat at the edge of a church. They had been lurking there for some time, but could lurk for very much longer. They could lurk until morning came, and still have an extra burst of energy for some more lurking. One held a basket, and the two wore equally irritated scorns. 

“Think they’re even going to show up?” One sneered. The other merely shrugged. 

“No clue. No clue why Crowley’s letting this bastard do it anyways,” the other muttered. They stayed silent for a few more moments, though the tension was so thick and tangible that you could cut a knife through it. The only thing that broke it, ten minutes off schedule, was the roar of an engine, AC/DC’s First Blood on full blast as a cherry red beetle pulled up to the church parking lot. 

The driver really should have never been introduced to 21st century fashion. They were having all too much fun with it. Blazer, fishnets, a bolo tie sculpted like a fly, and a pair of goggles that sat on their head, suspiciously looking like the eyes of the aforementioned insect. They didn’t turn off the car as they got out, shoving their hands in their pockets. 

“Sorry, boys, you know how traffic is on the M-25, and—“

“You’re late,” the blonde one interrupted. 

“Well, you know. It’s pretty late.” They both grumbled at the excuse. “So, Uh, what’zzz on the agenda today?”

One of the others sighed. “I have tempted a politician. Made him think a little bribe wouldn’t hurt. Within the next decade, we shall have him.”

The other piped up with a smile. “I’ve tempted a priest, giving him eyes for all the pretty girls on the streets. Within a year, we shall have him.”

Beelzebub stared idly at the two. “Yeah, Uh, well, that’s lovely, but I cut out all internet in London. Beat that,” they wore a stupidly proud grin on their face. 

“And that does..?”

“C’mon, Hastur, do you know how much irritation that will cause? It’ll be great,” they pressed. Hastur rolled his eyes. 

“Master Crowley’s got a special assignment for you,” he murmured. He motioned his counterpart forward, who held out a basket. 

Beelzebub’s eyes widened. “_No,_ already?” They just grinned and nodded. “Well—“ they gently took the basket. “Alright. Let’zzz get this over with.” They turned on their heel, muttering a “Ciao,” in departure. __

_ _They set the basket in the backseat, trying not to think of its contents. They got into the front, groaning and hitting their head against the dashboard before pulling their goggles to cover their eyes. They pulled out of the lot with a noisy screech, on their way to yet another church now. _ _

_ _“Call Gabriel,” they yelled over the radio, to which the voice operated system merely answered, _’All lines to London are currently closed. Please try again another time.’_ Bee groaned loudly, reaching up to rub their face. Fine. This was fine. They were fine. ___ _

_ _ _ _They continued on for a bit after having been given their instructions, which had almost put them in a head on, mind you. They pulled into the Order, sighing softly as they got out. There was a man outside smoking a fag, to which they assumed was a part of the plan. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _They got out of the Beetle, taking the basket with them. “Oh,” the man began, his accent somewhere between American and annoying. “You left your lights on.” They wordlessly snapped, and the car was off. The man asked something then, but they didn’t hear. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Has it started yet?” They asked, pushing their goggles up. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Oh— yes, they just wouldn’t let me—“_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“What room are we in?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Three.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Three, got it,” they sighed, pushing past him to get inside. They stopped the first nun they reached, who was quite flustered upon seeing them. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Master Beelzebub!” She greeted, worrying a tin of biscuits in her hands. They merely pushed the basket over. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Room three.” The girl’s eyes widened as she carefully opened the basket, a grin splitting across her face._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“That him?” She asked. They nodded, listening to her ramble about how different she thought he’d look. “Think he’ll remember me when he’s grown?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Pray that he doezzzzn’t,” they shrugged, leaving without another word. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The London lines were finally back up. Beelzebub sat idly in St. Jame’s park, waiting for Gabriel to show up. Their passive buzzing was now thick with anxiety and irritation. They tapped their foot hurriedly on the sidewalk, looking around much too often. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Now—“ there was a familiar voice as someone plopped down next to them. “What was so important that you made me close shop and come all the way down here?” They glanced up to Gabriel, sighing softly. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Antichrizzzzt. He was born yesterday,” they muttered, and Gabe went silent. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Are— are you sure?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Should know. I delivered him. Well— not delivered— you know.” _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“How long now?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Eleven years.” They sounded so weak and defeated. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Well… it’s been nice knowing you, Bee.” Gabriel placed a hand on their back, making them shudder._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“What? You’re just going to give up that easy?!”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“What other choice do we have? It’s the plan.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“The plan can suck my dick. Listen to me, I’ve got an idea—“_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Whatever it is, no.” Gabriel rose to his feet, beginning to walk away. Beelzebub chawed after them. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“No, come on! Just listen to me!”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“No,” he repeated, more definitive now. “I’m not going against Her plan.” Beelzebub thought it better not to mention how consorting with a demon for so long did exactly that. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“...fine. Then, let me take you for dinner. I still owe you from, Uh,”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Scotland, 1635,” Gabriel finished. They nodded. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Yeah. Come on,” they smiled a bit, snapping their fingers. The beetle, which was parked illegally, sprang to life, driving itself to where Beelzebub and Gabriel stood. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Get in, angel,” they hummed, tossing themselves into the driver’s seat. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“This thing is a death trap,” he muttered, sighing as he followed. They immediately sped off, breaking so many rules in the process. They sat in silence, a little dented smile on their face. Gabriel smiled fondly, even through their fatal driving. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _They pulled up to a small black building, a small sign on the door reading, _Kiln._ it was bustling and busy inside, but there were always two seats left open on the side of the counter for the regulars. ___ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Beelzebub ate a good amount, naturally. Gabriel had a basket of chicken and chips, but nothing more. They frowned, looking up at him. “Not really hungry, huh? Want drinkzzz?”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Well, that’zzzz what I’m saying!” Bee rambled, drunk out of their mind. Their human eyes had faded to those multifaceted red ones as they got more and more intoxicated. “My point— m’point izzz… dolphinzzz. Big brainzzz. And holy hell, whalezzz? Brain city!” They exclaimed, nearly spilling their wine in the process. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Gabriel laughed some at their antics, not quite as sloshed, but still rather tipsy. “Kraken,” he murmured. “Big….. bugger.” He sighed, leaning back into the white couch where he sat. “Supposed— supposed to come up when the sea boils.”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“And all the whalezz and dolphinzzzzz turn to boille— buille… booley…” they couldn’t quite wrap their tongue around the syllables of bouillabaisse. “Fish stew. Anywayzzz— and the gorillazz, gonna panic and cry, like, oh, shite! The sky’zz gone red, what’re they puttin’ in bananazzz these dayzzzz?!” They stood up, waving their hands around. “And— and then you’ve got to deal with eternity!”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Eternity?” He repeated, sighing as he sipped at his whiskey. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“You’ll— you’ll just gotta stand around for eternity listening to Chopin. How’zzz that sound? No sound of music! No… no pop. Yeah, just that mushy shite Aziraphale likes.” Gabriel scrunched up his face, rubbing his head. Bee grabbed his cheeks, their face flushed from alcohol. “Y’get it? It’zzz gonna be terrible. No more fashion.”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“I… think I’m too wasted for this.” Gabriel decided. “I’m gonna sober up.” Bee let go of his face, blowing a raspberry. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“You’re no fun,” they pouted, though did the same anyways. The empty bottles filled back up to where they had been, the two of them left trying to get a sour taste from their mouths. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Ugh,” Bee groaned, flopping down on the couch so their head rested on his thighs. “You know, what if we just… helped raise him?”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“That would be going against the plan,” Gabriel sighed. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Well… if I happened to show up to put demonic influences on him, they couldn’t gnat you for thwarting me. That’zz what you do, thwart wilezz. See a wile, ya thwart.” Gabriel seemed to soften, raising his brows. “And then the good influences balance out the evil.”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“I suppose.. it wouldn’t be going against the plan if I was thwarting you…”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“We’d be godparents, sorta. I can nanny and you can do whatever they’re hiring for. It’s an estate, there will be something.”_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“Godparents,” Gabriel hummed, smiling gently. “I like that.”_ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was kinda rough and I apologize for that! If you can’t tell I’m better at original scenes. don’t worry, there will be many of those in the future and my writing will be better :)


	8. Kensington, 2013

“This is stupid,” Gabriel sighed, taking a hand through his hair as they drove. 

“You didn’t have to pick the Butler pozzzition— position. There was an opening for a cook, a gardener, a—“

“Whatever,” he sighed gently. “You’re gonna have to keep your buzzing down. It will give you away in a heartbeat.”

“Know that. I’m trying, trust me. It’s hard. But as long as I don’t get drunk..”

“You shouldn’t be drunk while caring for a child, anyhow. Are you sure you’ll even be able to handle Nannying?”

“Sure I will. Don’t worry your pretty little head, angel,” they hummed as the two pulled up to the large estate. They were both somewhat disguised, but changing their clothes did enough. Beelzebub wore a tea length black dress, their hair long again and tied up into a bun. Gabriel wore a simple suit, not too far out of his normal fashion. “What’s the name you chose, again?”

“Greyson Rose,” he hummed, smiling some. 

“How… English of you.”

“As if Bethanie Delaine is any better,” he shot back. 

“You can’t say Nanny Delaine doesn’t have a nice ring to it. Also, no tricky sounds for me to fuck up on.” They hummed gently, walking to open Gabriel’s door for him. 

“Don’t swear around the baby,” he reminded. 

“I’ll raise him how I damn well please,” they purred, shutting the door and locking the car. “I’m more worried about you spewing about the love of god to unsuspecting staff.” Gabriel rolled his eyes, holding his elbow out for them to take. They marched up to the front doors, Beelzebub actually making an effort of good posture.

A maid opened the door, looking fairly timid. “You’d be…?” she murmured.

“Newly hired staff,” Gabriel hummed, putting on an English accent to lower down any suspicions. Beelzebub had chosen a French one, just so their buzzing would be less noticeable.

“Oh! Oh, of course. Let me call down Mrs. Young,” she hurried, opening the doors for them. “Please, come in.”

She scampered up the stairs, leaving the two left in the foyer. Gabriel sighed softly as they waited, squeezing Bee’s hand gently. “We’ll be okay,” he cooed. They nodded.

Mrs. Young appeared within a few moments. “Sorry to keep you waiting,” she apologized, running down the stairs. “You must be Bethanie,” she gestured to Bee. They nodded. “And you… dear, me, remind me?”

“Greyson,” Gabriel clarified. 

“Yes! Alright. I apologize, we have two other new butlers, and I attach names to faces.”

“It’s quite alright, ma’am,” he assured. She sighed softly, nodding. 

“Well, Miss Delaine, I’ll go ahead and take you and show you around. Greyson, I’ll send the other butlers down for you.” he nodded, giving her a bright smile. Beelzebub reluctantly let go of Gabriel’s arm, clasping their hands behind their back.

Mrs. Young explained where everything was, what Adam’s schedule was, where they’d be sleeping. The demon briefly wondered if they’d be able to sneak into Gabriel’s room at night.

Finally, she led them to the nursery, where Adam was sound asleep in his crib. His mother gently picked him up, cradling him close. “And here’s your charge. He really is quite a lovely baby, he doesn’t have many fits. If he does, he’s just hungry. He doesn’t really make a fuss when he needs his nappy changed, so you’ll have to check that often.”

Bee nodded a bit as she handed over the baby. They really hated children, but couldn’t hold him like that. They just focused on the fact that _this was their boss, be nice._ “He’s beautiful,” they mumbled, as if this bundle of shit and baby sick wasn’t going to be the bane of their existence. __

_ _“Oh, isn’t he? I’m sure he’ll take to you lovely, he really is so sweet.” they ignored that she couldn’t have any idea if he was sweet or not. He was a baby. And the son of Satan. They watched as he clung onto their thumb, and couldn’t help but smile some._ _

_ _“I will do my best,” they promised. They rubbed the baby’s back gently, letting out a sigh._ _

_ _

_ _Beelzebub began to really have fun when Adam was old enough to speak. He was always full of questions, asking about anything and everything. Why is the sky blue? Why don’t slugs have bones? Why is your hair black and mine isn’t?_ _

_ _“Why do you sleep in Brother Rose’s room?” Well, that one caught them off guard._ _

_ _“I’m-- I’m sorry?” they asked, their cheeks reddening just so slightly as they brushed out the boy’s curly hair._ _

_ _“Why do you sleep in Brother Rose’s room.”_ _

_ _“Oh.. um, well, you know how you like to sleep with your stuffed bunny? Something to hold.”_ _

_ _“Is Brother Rose a bunny?” they had to laugh at that, patting his head._ _

_ _“No, hellspawn, Brother Rose is not a bunny. If he were, he wouldn’t be fluffy or cute. More like a jackrabbit.”_ _

_ _“What’s a jackrabbit?” and back to normal questions. Bee was happy to answer any and every question he had. They noticed that his parents tired of the inquiries after a while, and they didn’t know why, but it infuriated them. So they always answered. And if they didn’t know, that’s what they said. And the boy would start coming up with theories. It was amusing, really._ _

_ _“Alright,” they hummed after Adam had tired of questioning, and them of answering. They tied his curls into a pony at the base of his neck. “Let’s get on with your walk, little devil.” they had come to love that name, and thought it was perfect for the boy. He nodded quickly, grabbing their hand as they jumped up. _ _

_ _“Can we go to the park today? I’ll bring seeds for the duckies,” He begged, giving them puppy-dog eyes._ _

_ _“Sure we can. Remember that people who feed bread to ducks are terrible and they’re killing them, we only feed them seeds.” their voice was much to cheery for the contents, but the answer was enough for Adam. he cheered quietly, running off to get a sack of seeds._ _

_ _Gabriel chuckled from where he was working, looking up from wiping off the Entryway table. “Awfully blunt, dear,” he hummed. _ _

_ _“When am I not awfully blunt, Angel?” they countered with a sharp grin, one only Gabriel and Adam saw. “He should know that those people go to hell and they murder ducks.”_ _

_ _“It isn’t muder unless it’s human and illegal. They just kill them.”_ _

_ _“Well, killing is killing, they all go to the same place,” they answered curtly as adam ran back with a small pouch of seeds. “Ready to go, hellspawn?” they hummed._ _

_ _“Yes! I have seeds, look!” _ _

_ _“It’s very kind of you to feed the ducks good food,” Gabriel interjected, earning a playful glare from Beelzebub._ _

_ _“Hush, now. Come on,” they took the boy’s free hand, leading them out of the door._ _


	9. Godparents

“He asked me today,” they mused, tapping their lips. “Why I sleep in your room.” They sat on Gabriel’s bed, combing their hands through their hair. 

“Oh? And what did you say?” He sat down beside them, slipping his hand around their waist. 

“I compared you to his little stuffed rabbit,” they answered, leaning into the Angel’s touch. “You’re something to hold.” He rubbed the curve of their waist, smiling gently. 

“Just to hold?” He teased, tilting his head as they looked over them. 

“As far as he knows,” they giggled, the action bringing an infernal buzz with it. 

“You know, some of the staff have started looking for wasps nests. They think we’ve got a whole infestation, cause they keep hearing it,” Gabriel pinched their side, making them yelp.

“Hey! Not like I can help it,” they grumbled, snapping their teeth at his hand when it passed by their face. They really couldn’t, but they’d be lying if they said they didn’t enjoy the confusion it brought. 

“Of course you can’t. I’m teasing,” he assured, pulling them into a close hug. They squirmed and protested for a moment, but eventually went limp, leaning into the warmth of the embrace. Ever since Gabriel found out they were cold blooded, he took full advantage of that to get them into hugs. He would just feel their heartbeat, listen to their breathing. If he was lucky, they’d fall asleep like this, safe in his arms. Today wasn’t one of those days. 

They pulled back eventually, glaring up at him. “And you call me wiley.”

“I’m not incorrect, dear,” he teased, poking their nose. Instead of snapping to bite them, they stood still. 

“Whatever, whatever. Goodnight, idiot,” they buzzed, pausing for a moment as they got under the covers. They pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, quickly turning their back to him and going to bed. 

Gabriel had gasped quietly, reaching up to touch his cheek. It stung. Stung in the best way. He gave an idiotic smile, looking over to them. His unnecessary heart beat quickly, skipping a beat or two. He leaned down, placing another kiss onto their head. They buzzed, the tone indicating some kind of happiness.

He moved to curl up around them, holding their waist as he did so. “Night, _Miss Bethanie,_” he teased, pressing a final kiss to the back of their neck before passing out. __

_ _

_ _Beelzebub was gone early in the morning, under the excuse to get Adam up and going. Which was true, but not the main reason they were so eager to get up and going. _ _

_ _Gabriel got ready with a dreamy smile. They’d kissed him. And let him kiss them back. He was in (metaphorical) heaven. When marching upstairs, they saw Bee eating Breakfast with Adam while they practiced his spelling. He caught their eyes, earning a red faced glance and smile from the demon. _ _

_ _He stayed in the dining area, dusting China and taking their dishes when the two had finished eating. Beelzebub finally spoke to him while Adam tried to spell out ‘murder’ on a piece of paper. _ _

_ _“Angel, could you get me a quick drink?” It was a simple request, one they had made millions of times before. And yet, it felt different. He nodded, rushing off to the kitchen for a glass of water. When he set it down, he let his hand linger over theirs for just a moment before pulling away to continue working. They smiled at that, glancing over to him as they sipped on the beverage. _ _

_ _Mrs. Young soon came by, placing a hand on her son’s shoulder. “Dear, Daddy’s offered to take us to lunch. Would you like to come?”_ _

_ _The boy bounced up and down happily, nodding as he put his things away. Beelzebub found it rather funny his mother never mentioned how odd the words he was spelling were. Not that they minded. They gave the two of them a bright smile, watching as Adam ran off to find his father. _ _

_ _Beelzebub chuckled quietly, pulling the papers into a neat pile. They’d probably send them to hell as proof they were doing something worthwhile. Gabriel walked over once their bosses were out of sight, plopping down next to them. “Murder, really now?”_ _

_ _They shrugged. “He heard us talk about murder vs. killing, and was curious.” They smiled gently, making Gabriel’s heart clench a bit. “Plus, I can send these to Dagon as a progress report.”_ _

_ _“You’re still bothering with progress reports?” He laughed some. _ _

_ _“Ah, Crowley isn’t as kind as Azzziraphale. He’d shred me to pieces.”_ _

_ _“And you’d like it,” he reminded. _ _

_ _“Not unless it was you doing it,” they teased, making Gabriel blink. _ _

_ _“You really are a masochist, aren’t you?”_ _

_ _“Ever met a demon that’zz not?” They cooed, resting their hand on their chin. “Well… I’m the only demon you’ve really met, aren’t I?”_ _

_ _“I ran into Hastur and Ligur once. And I saw Asmodeus in Mesopotamia.”_ _

_ _“Doesn’t count. You met them once. Saw him once.”_ _

_ _“Well you aren’t exactly keen on meeting angels.”_ _

_ _“Well… no, not anymore,” their eyes fell. “I still remember some of them, though. I remember Raphael the best. And Laylah, I think I had midwifed for her or something…” they trailed off, their voice weaker by the second. _ _

_ _“Sorry, don’t tire yourself. I was only joking, dear,” he murmured, bringing their hand to his lips. They laughed a little bit, blinking away the tears that had threatened to fall. _ _

_ _“I kiss you once, now you think it’s okay?” They teased, though Gabriel could tell they were joking. _ _

_ _“Yeah,” he chuckled, letting go of their hand. They buzzed softly, taking back the rest of their water. He watched them with a dumb smile, tilting his head a bit. They rolled their eyes, flicking his forehead gently. _ _

_ _“Haven’t you got work to be doing?” They asked, tucking the stack of papers under their arm. “Your charge hasn’t gone anywhere, has it?”_ _

_ _He groaned, grabbing his dust cloth and standing up. “Oh, hush. I just wanted to sit down for a minute.”_ _

_ _Bee rolled their eyes, standing up with them. They had to get on their toes, but they placed a quick kiss to his lips before running off to fax the papers to Hell._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I,, needed,, some fluff


	10. After Hours

“Do you think that Miss Delaine is a bit… odd?” One butler asked as the four of them sat drinking after work. Thomas, that one was. He was the newest, having come in sometime last year. 

“What do you mean?” Gabriel asked, raising a brow. He knew they were wrapped up in blankets in his room, buzzing quietly until they had dreams. 

“I… can’t put my finger on it, honestly. There’s just something… off. I’m not sure.”

“Yeah,” another agreed, a ginger man with a thick Scottish accent. Glenn. “I think she might be a satan worshipper. Have you heard what she calls master Adam? Hellspawn. Little devil. Dont’cha think that’s odd?” Gabriel forced a laugh, shaking his head. 

“Yeah, she’s… I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her sleep. Her room is always spotless. Like she’s never even used it.”

“It could be that she just falls asleep in Adam’s room while she reads to him,” Gabriel defended. That had never happened, but it was a plausible explanation. 

“Every night? For nine years?” Glenn shook his head, clicking his tongue quietly. “And have you ever seen her wearing any color than black?”

“She likes red…” he murmured, sipping at his whiskey. 

“Doesn’t help they claim,” Thomas piped up. 

“And purple.” Though, the only times they wore it was when they stole his sweaters. Glenn sighed. 

“Maybe she’s just weird,” the last one, named Peter, finally spoke. “Don’t have to be a reason. Could’a just been the way she was raised, eh?”

“Exactly,” Gabriel agreed. “Her family wasn’t very nice… and she got kicked out as a kid.”

“That how you met her? Took her in?”

“Not.. not exactly. No. I met her… I met her during work. A very long time ago.”

“How long ago could it be?” Glenn scoffed. “She barely looks twenty.” Gabriel smiled a bit. 

“No, she’s not quite that young. You could say she looks quite well for her age,” he mused. “She got me out of trouble a lot. Made a lot of trouble herself.”

“From the way you’re talking, seems like you fancy her,” Thomas teased. Gabriel said nothing. “You do!” He laughed. “You fancy the nanny.”

“Wouldn’t call it ‘fancy.’” He shook his head. “It’s been going on too long to be a fancy.”

“Maybe you should grow a pair and ask her out, then.”

“Bold of your to assume that I haven’t.” Well, he really hadn’t. They had gone out for drinks countless times, they’d gone to plenty of restaurants. Not to mention living together for nine years. “It’s always been work; though. We’ve always been coworkers.”

“And that should stop you… why? The Youngs wouldn’t particularly care.”

“...there are people who would.” He shrugged. 

“I don’t even see what you see in her,” Glenn murmured, earning an elbow to the gut from Peter. 

“...Not many people would, I suppose. She’s very cold and mean on the outside. She’d kill me if she heard me say it, but she really is nice. She’d die for me, I’m sure…” they had. Four times. Just to keep Gabriel from paperwork. “And she… protected me every time she could. And she has so many tiny quirks. She really loves history. And she’s got so much memorized.. she has a little red beetle from 1939 that she treats like her baby. Named it and everything.” He didn’t quite catch himself rambling. “She really likes food, and she’ll eat anything. I dared her to eat one of those freeze-dried scorpions,” that was a lie, it was alive, “and she did. No hesitation. And they do that little thing when they talk—“ he stopped when he realized he had spilled a little too much, and shook his head. “Never mind. 

“Man, he’s in deep,” Thomas chuckled. Gabriel laughed nervously, pushing himself up. 

“Anyways. I’m going to sober up and get to bed. Have fun, gentlemen,” he waved, quickly starting to the stairs. 

Bee was not, as he expected, asleep, rather sitting in the middle of the bed and reading. They had rather let go of keeping their eyes in check when alone, it was awful hard. So they stared at him with bright red orbs. “Gabe,” they hummed, setting down the book and getting to the edge of the bed. They pushed themselves up onto their knees, planting several kisses over his mouth and surrounding skin. He laughed, gently pushing her away. 

“Bee,” he greeted. Their grin didn’t fade. 

“You smell like alcohol,” they teased, poking his chest gently. “Sober up, you don’t want to work with a hangover.” Gabriel rolled his eyes. 

“I’ll be fine, dear. Why aren’t you asleep yet?”

“Cold. Heated blanket broke. Can’t warm up.” They buzzed loudly as Gabriel immediately wrapped them onto a hug, absolutely melting into his warmth. 

“So,” he began, pulling them onto his lap. “The other butlers think you’re a satanist.”

“...am I not? I guess I am. I am ‘in league with the devil,’ so to speak,” they wondered, closing their eyes. “Though, modern satanizzzm is just about as accurate as modern Christianity,” they giggled. He hummed happily, kissing the top of their head. 

“Only a month until Adam’s ten, and then we go. Leave him to his own devices for a year.”

“I kinda want to mess with everyone, now that we’re in the home stretch,” they had a malicious grin on their face. “Fake a demon infestation, or something like that.”

“I don’t approve, but I can’t stop you.” He moved to set them down, the prince whining loudly at the loss of warmth. 

“Well. I’m cutting my hair back down, tomorrow. I bloody hate this hair.”

“Yeah?” He chuckled. “I do miss your little fluff ball. And your goggles.”

“I miss my suit!” They whined. “I hate dresses. I want my bolo tie. I want to wear real shoes.”

“In due time, my love.” He kissed the back of their neck before pulling back. 

“Come to bed?” They asked softly, closing their eyes. Gabriel feigned a sigh, pulling off his jacket and pants to leave him in his undershirt. He found a pair of pajama pants, pulling them on before crawling into bed. 

They immediately clung to him, sighing happily at his touch. “I love you,” he mumbled, closing his eyes. They merely grumbled in agreement. They still couldn’t say it, but he knew what it meant. 

And so, he let them drift off. He didn’t sleep, just rubbing their back the whole night.


	11. The Chattering Order of St. Beryl, 2019

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uuuuh newt and Anathema are switched 👏🏻

Adam wasn’t stupid. Okay, wait, maybe he was. But he had seen his nanny’s face enough to recognize the person standing at the edge of the party, talking in hushed tones next to another man. And when he saw them together, he had no problem recognizing both of them. He furrowed his brows, for a bit, ignoring the absolutely terrible magic show up front. Yeah, that was definitely them. 

When kids began to throw cake and scream, he took that opportunity to slip out of the crowd, running towards them. Beelzebub had their back to them, rambling about the hellhound and how this was the final moment. Needless to say, they didn’t hear him running towards them, and got the wind knocked out of them when he tackle-hugged them from behind. “Nanny!” He hummed affectionately, sending the demon into panic mode. They looked up to Gabriel, giving him a look that read, ‘Oh fuck, oh shit, what the hell do I do?’ But instead, they just awkwardly patted his arm. 

“Hey, Adam,” they sighed, turning to look at him. He was as bouncy as ever, not letting go at them. 

“Your goggles are cool! I like them! I told dad you’d come but he didn’t believe me. I win four whole pounds because I knew you would come!” They couldn’t help but laugh a little bit. 

“I— Ah, I’m glad to make you a little money?” They tried. 

“You sound like a bumble bee,” he hummed, finally letting go of their waist. That earned a hearty laugh from Gabriel, making them elbow him in the waist. 

“And you brought Brother Rose,” he gushed, standing between them. Gabriel gave him an easy smile. 

“Hey, kid,” he greeted, keeping Adam occupied while Beelzebub watched their watch. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. They were sure their heart stopped. 

“Hellspawn, it was really nice to see you, but we have to go now! Happy birthday, little one,” they rambled, grabbing Gabriel’s wrist and rushing him off to the Beetle. 

“No dog,” they muttered. 

“No dog?”

“Wrong. Boy.”

“....Wrong boy.”

Beelzebub groaned loudly, hitting their head against the top of the beetle before getting in. “We’re fucked. It’s over, we lost the fucking kid. Get in.” They pulled their goggles down onto their face, speeding off as soon as Gabriel was safely inside. 

“Hey, hey, bee, we’re not necessarily… ruined, we— okay. You lost the boy.”

“_We_ lost the boy,” they corrected, not looking over. __

_ _“A boy was lost. But you still know his age—“_ _

_ _“_We_ still know his age. And what the hell are we supposed to do? Interrogate every blessed eleven year old in the city?”___ _

_ _ _ _“Records. Hospital records, bee! You know where he was born, yeah? We just go there! Find all the births that day, and we’ve got him.” Beelzebub sighed, nodding a bit. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay, let’s go, then.” They put the pedal to the floor, gritting their teeth. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Bee! You can’t got ninety in central London!”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Why not?” They grinned. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“You’ll get us killed! Or— inconveniently discorperated— watch out for that pedestrian!”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Bee barely avoided plowing over a woman through a crosswalk. “She’zzz in the street, she knows the risk she’zz taking!”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The sun was almost down by the time they got to the ‘hospital.’ As they pulled in, it was completely silent. “You… sure this is it? Doesn’t look much like a hospital..”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Nope, this is it. Nunnery,” they grumbled, shifting into park and pulling themselves out. They grabbed his hand, leading him through the arch that had once led to St. Beryl’s church. It was really two quiet. The chattering order, weren’t they? Shouldn’t it have been— _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _And then, they got shot. Not shot? Gabriel wasn’t sure. The impact wasn’t much for him, but there was enough force to knock Beelzebub’s tiny form clean over. And there was now thick, red liquid dripping from their chest. So yeah, probably shot. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Bee!” He gasped, kneeling down beside them. They only groaned, sitting up and rubbing their head. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“What the..” they touched the liquid, sniffing it quickly. “Paint.” They pulled Gabriel’s shoulder a bit, seeing a large blue stain. A woman ran up to them, seeming quite upset. She was clad in camo, something that looked like a machine gun in her hands. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I hit you! You have to—“ Gabriel didn’t see exactly what Beelzebub did, but he heard them screech, making the woman pass out. They cackled, reaching down to grab the gun. They put it to their shoulder, looking through the scope. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“This isn’t a proper gun,” they determined, sounding disappointed. They shot it at the ground, sighing when nothing but purple paint came out. Gabriel hit it out of their hands. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Don’t touch that. Look what it did to my coat! This is Armani, and now—“_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Just miracle it away,” they sighed, but he shook his head. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I’ll always know it’s there..” he huffed. They rolled their eyes, leaning behind him and blowing on the stain. It disappeared in dust, along with the red paint splattered on their bolo tie. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Come on, wank wingzzz,” they hummed, waltzing on into the building. Gabriel sputtered, but ultimately ran after them. It looked more like an office, than anything. He snatched up a tri-fold pamphlet, reading it quietly._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“They take out their anger… by shooting each other.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“With paint?” They scoffed, taking one of the halls. A man ran past them, covered in the same camouflage as the woman they had scared earlier. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I’m going to kill Nancy,” he announced. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Good luck,” Beelzebub snapped, a smirk on their face. The sounds of paint then morphed into the very real, very fast, sounds of bullets being fired at rapid speed. Gabriel’s eyes widened. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“What the— what the hell was that?!”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“You heard him. He wants to kill her,” they hummed, shoving their hands into their pockets. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“You gave them real guns?! People are out there killing each other!” Bee rolled their eyes. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Okay, I just made them _think_ they had real guns. No one’s dying, angel.”___ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _Gabriel let out a relieved sigh. “Ah, Good. That was very nice of you,” he muttered, and that got him pulled by the collar to Beelzebub’s height. A now very angry Beelzebub. _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _“I’m _not_ nice,” they growled, “nice is a four letter word, and—“ they froze up as they were interrupted by a voice, going red. ___ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Sorry to break up an intimate moment, gentlemen, but can I help you?” Beelzebub quickly let go of the angel, who just straightened his tie with a sigh. They looked to the woman, vaguely recognizing her from… somewhere. “Master Beelzebub!” She gasped, scrambling down to get on her knee. “What have I done to grace myself with your presence—“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Oh, cut the blessed formalities,” they growled. “You were a Nun, Yeah? Chattering order?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She grinned, almost flattered. “Yes, though I’m afraid I’m the only sister left—“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Where’s the kid? The antichrist? What’s his name?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She frowned, tapping her chin. “I’m.. afraid I can’t recall..” she muttered, pushing Gabriel to speak. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“You’ve got records, no?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Oh, yes, we were very good at keeping records. Unfortunately, they were all destroyed during the great fire—“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Beelzebub’s eyes flashed red. “Fucking— ligur!” They groaned, kicking the walk in irritation. “Satan bless it all!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Gabriel flinched, placing his hand gently on their shoulder. “Calm down, dear. We’ll figure it out, I promise you that,” he whispered. They calmed down, though reluctantly. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Speak nothing of this visit,” Beelzebub ordered, marching back past the nun, leaving Gabriel to run after them. They ran straight to the car, crashing their head against the steering wheel. A long honk followed. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Gabriel sighed softly, pulling them close. “Hey, you’re okay. We’re going to figure this out. I promise.” Beelzebub was trying awfully hard not to let it show how fucking terrified they were. They didn’t want to lose earth. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“It’s dark, we should get back,” they muttered, turning the car on. “Get in.” The angel frowned, but did as told. He took their hand while they drove, doing his best to force calm into them. And it seemed to be working. Their eyes were regular, and they had relaxed their shoulders. Their driving didn’t change a bit, however. In fact, it seemed to become more sporadic. The turns became sharper, the bumps bigger. He closed his eyes, trying to ignore all the physical distractions. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Until he felt them crash into something. His eyes flashed open. “Did you hit a deer?” He asked. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I hit a kid—“ they corrected, sending Gabriel out to feverishly check on him. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _There was now, a poor boy in a ditch, a battered bike, and an assortment of books. Gabriel muttered words of reassurance, quickly healing him before he even noticed the broken bones. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Are you alright, kid?” He asked, taking his hands to gently help him up. The boy only groaned, rubbing his head. He glanced up, not registering much as he watched Beelzebub repair the dents. “Can you tell me your name?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Uh, Newt,” he muttered, grabbing onto his books. “Did you— did you hit me?” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“They were driving,” he quickly corrected, brushing the boy off. He gathered up the books and placed them back into the bag at his hip. Newt sighed, muttering a thank you. Gabriel quickly fixed up the bike while he was looking at something else. “I’m terribly sorry, Newt. We’ll lift you home, for the trouble.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“What?” Beelzebub called. “No! We’re not giving him a lift! There’s no where to put the bike!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Except the bike rack.” Beelzebub glanced back, glaring at the rack on the back of the beetle that hadn’t been there seconds ago. They stayed quiet for a moment, before rolling their eyes. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Fine.” Gabriel lit up, helping Newt up out of the ditch. Bee opened the door, sighing heavily. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Where are we taking you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Oh, um, edge of the town. I’ll lead you,” he answered, thanking them quietly as he got in. Gabriel hooked the bike onto the rack, getting a glare from the demon. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Get in, angel,” they huffed, doing the same. They drove reasonably now, not keen on getting Gabriel any more mad at them. The ride was mostly quiet, aside from Newt giving directions. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _The boy looked back, furrowing his brows when he saw the bike through the window. “Uh.. my bike.. doesn’t have gears,” he murmured, narrowing his eyes a bit. Beelzebub cocked a brow, glancing to Gabriel. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“...oh lord, heal this bike,” they sang quietly, entirely to mock him. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“I got carried away!” He muttered, folding his arms. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“Turn here,” Newt instructed. Beelzebub followed. “And you can drop me there,” he pointed to a fork in the road. The car slowed to a stop, Gabriel quickly getting out to unhook the bike. And get rid of the gears. He quickly sent newt off, not noticing a book left in the backseat, titled, “_The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Matthew Pulsifer_.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	12. Anxiety

Gabriel had been ecstatic when he discovered the abandoned book. He had heard of it in legends, stories. _The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Matthew Pulsifer._ He was quite aware of the history and legends about the book. He was giddy, and had left Beelzebub away as they went to get a few drinks.__

_ _He put on some gloves, much too worried about the corporeal oils that his skin produced ruining the pages. He read the first few, which he knew well, and knew to be true. He stayed up for hours upon hours, going through two cups of coffee through the night, letting Beelzebub go to sleep as he continued. Morning rose, rays of golden sun shimmering through the windows. He hummed some, then flipping to a random page._ _

_ _ _Prophecy 3008: When that the angel readeth these words of mine, in his shoppe of other menne's books, then the final days are certes upon us. Open thine eyes to understand. Open thine eyes and rede, I do say, foolish principalitee, for thy coffee doth grow cold.___ _ _

_ _ _ _Gabriel’s constant smile now dropped. He glanced to his mug, pressing his hand against it. It was cold. His own prophecy? He didn’t know if he was flattered, or absolutely terrified._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He went further. Connected the pieces. Numbers, numbers… what about numbers? Dates? No, nothing had happened. Addresses? Bible verses? Bible verses. Calling. The number of the devil. And.. Tadfield. His head hurt, he was thinking too hard. He’d try one more thing._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Dial the Tadfield number. Then, the number of the devil. It couldn’t be that simple, could it? Not that this had been simple. He shivered some as he dialled the number, holding the phone to his ear._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Flat six six six at Tadfield, this is Thaddeus Dowling, how may I help you?” Gabriel, admittedly, didn’t know what to say. He didn’t need to speak, though._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Dad, Dad!” the boy’s voice was faint, in the background. Gabriel began scanning over the page of the bible he had been on. As soon as his eyes glossed over the words, ‘Beast on his hind legs,’ the boy spoke again. “Look! I taught Dog to stand on his hind legs! Look!”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Just a bit, Warlock, I’m on the phone!” Thaddeus called. “Sorry, how can I help you?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Gabriel panicked. Hard. “Ah-- sorry, right number!” he quickly pressed the button to end the call, his hands shaking. “Bee! Bee!” he scrambled to his feet, running to the bedroom. Beelzebub groaned, turning over. They hissed loudly as gabriel got onto the bed, shaking their shoulder. “I found him. I found the Antichrist. Warlock Dowling.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Beelzebub took a few moments to process that. They shot up, their eyes wide. “What? How do you know?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“That boy-- Newt. He left his book. It’s Matthew Pulsifer’s prophecy book.” Beelzebub blinked once, then twice. A grin broke out on their face as they pulled Gabriel into a bone-crushing hug._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Fuck yeah! Fuck! Yeah!” they exclaimed, pressing a kiss to his lips. “If we can talk to him enough-- oh my Satan, there’s hope,” they whispered, pushing their foreheads together. “Oh, satan, we’re going to be okay.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Unfortunately, as the days went on, so did the demonic miracles. Beelzebub shuddered violently whenever one was performed. However, they couldn’t figure out...what. They didn’t feel.. Bad. They sent them into panic mode. Why couldn’t they figure this out? What the heaven was Warlock doing?_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Their whole aura had fallen into that same panic. Enough that even Gabriel noticed. They felt so… miserable. And they wouldn’t even let him touch them. He respected that, but he wanted so terribly to wrap them up and cover them in kisses and affection. But as long as they pushed him away, he would stay away._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He finally got a chance in the middle of the night. He was far on his own side of the bed, reading silently. Beelzebub had been sleeping, but they shot up around 2:16 in the morning. They were shivering violently, their fangs clacking against their lips. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“C-cold-- cold,” they whispered, rubbing their arms. Gabriel closed his book without even marking his place. He held his arms out to them, letting them crawl into his lap. They pressed themselves into his chest, hiding in his warmth._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _The shivering and chattering slowed, eventually stopping entirely. “Are you alright?” he checked, kissing their forehead softly._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Yeah- yeah. I’m okay. Just co-old.” they hid their face, making him smile fondly. “Warlock did something… I’m not zzzure what, but he did something…” they muttered. He rubbed their back humming comfortingly._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“It’s okay. You’re okay. Look at me, little devil.” they grumbled, letting their eyes meet the angel’s. “You’re okay. I’m here.” he kissed them gently, and they completely melted into his touch. They buzzed quietly, letting their eyes close. “I’m here, and you’re here, and earth is here. You’re okay.” they nodded with a quiet whimper, drinking up the affection he gave._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“You’re not mad at me?” they mumbled._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Why would I be mad at you, darling?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“I’ve been all mean and distant.. I didn’t mean to. Though, I promizzze…” they pressed their lips flat together, sighing gently. “Didn’t mean to, no.” Gabriel just shook his head._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“No, dear. I’m happy to give you your space whenever you need it, yeah?” They smiled gently, shaking with quiet buzzing. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Thank you, angel,” they whispered, burying their face into his chest. He slipped his hand under the loose t-shirt they wore, running his nails along their spine. They stretched out some, the buzzing almost becoming a purr._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Gabriel smiled fondly, placing some kisses all over their face. “I love you, Bee,” he whispered._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Mhm.”_ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking I'll skip through the events until the whole confrontation. Then, we can get that sweet, tasty, post-apocalyptic fluff and angst.


	13. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time skip, to immediately after the nahpocalypse.

As soon as it was over, Beelzebub collapsed into Gabriel’s arms. They were sobbing. Happy sobs. No one had ever seen them cry before. Especially not Crowley. “Demons aren’t supposed to cry,” he muttered to Aziraphale. The two were standing on the opposite side of the air base. This was all the demon said, avoiding speaking of their recent absolutely humiliating failure.  
“They aren’t,” Aziraphale agreed, his lips tight. He watched as the two hugged, Warlock now sandwiched between the hug. “Disgusting. Fraternizing with the other side like that.” Crowley thought better than to mention that they, too, had fraternized. 

Gabriel held them both in his lap, grinning happily. He pressed several kisses against Bee’s head. “We did it—“ he chuckled, earning a happy buzz from the demon in his lap. 

“I’m gonna live,” Beelzebub gasped, their face red from tears and hyperventilating. “We did it— we stopped the war!” Gabriel nodded with a wide smile, pressing a kiss to their lips. They giggled, though it was broken. Warlock eventually pulled away from the two, just staring at them with the smuggest grin on his face. 

Aziraphale sighed, moving to rub his temples. “Traitors. They’re traitors,” he decided. 

“Obviously so. So, what do we do?” Crowley asked, clicking his serpentine tongue. 

“Execute them.” He flicked something off from his coat. “Give it a week for paperwork. I’ll provide you with holy water, if you do the same with Hellfire.”

Crowley sighed, nodding. “Of course.” He disappeared without another word, becoming enveloped in the earth as he returned to hell. The angel nodded curtly, similarly doing so with a flash of light. 

The underlings didn’t even notice, didn’t care to. Beelzebub showered their angel with kisses. Slowly stopping the crying. 

“We did it,” they whispered.

“We did,” he confirmed, kissing their cheek lovingly. “We did.” He pulled them up to their feet, dusting them off. “And now, you can rest knowing Armageddon isn’t coming.”

“I can,” they sighed, rubbing their face. “I’ll live.”

“...sorry?” He asked, furrowing his brows. 

“Don’t act like heaven wouldn’t win,” they mumbled. “It’s her plan. She decides. I probably would have been the third to die, after satan and Crowley.”

Gabriel stared for a minute, before he placed a kiss to their head. “But you won’t, not now,” he promised. “You’re okay. You need some sleep. Let’s get going, dear.” They nodded shakily, walking off with him, past the flaming remains of the beetle. That would sting for a while. 

Walking home was a nice break, though. Just being together, looking around. It was actually pretty calming. Neither of them said a thing until they got to Bee’s flat. The woman who disliked them was long dead, and their new flat mate was actually fairly interested in them. So, when he saw them still emitting smoke, red face, wandering up to the flat, he stopped them. 

“What.. what the hell happened to you?” He called. 

“Just that,” they said shortly, dragging Gabriel upstairs. The angel laughed, tripping a bit as they did. Bee dove headfirst into the bed, letting out a long sigh. They hugged a pillow, a smile on their face. Their lips were in a perpetual state of injury now, punctured by their anxious chewing. Gabriel placed a hand on their back, leaning down to kiss their head.

“Hey, you let that pillow take my job,” he teased. They whined, finally pulling back and turning to him. He picked them up, sitting down and letting them cling to him.

“...Hell will never take me back,” they murmured, looking up to him. They seemed genuinely sad. They loved being a demon, they truly did. It was just the whole… ending the world thing that they didn’t like.

Gabriel gave them a soft smile. “Nor will heaven take me. But that’s okay, we’re on our own side now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was really a filler chapter! I've already written a few into the future and the're a lot better because angst and original scenes are where my muse really comes from. Thank you for dealing with this dry ass shit.


	14. Execution

Gabriel had really just accepted the call for his execution. He agreed that he was a traitor, and was ready to pay the price. If not for Beelzebub, he would have marched right up to heaven and step into that fiery cyclone. But, they were there, and they weren’t about to let the sole reason for their treason die.

“No, oh no you don’t,” they growled, grabbing his wrist. “No. you are not about to kill yourself without letting me try to stop it,” was what they had said. “Where’s that blezzzzed prophecy book?”

They didn’t have much time, and Matthew Pulsifer knew they wouldn’t. So, the first page they opened up to was the right one. A small mercy on his part.

_ "When alle is fayed and all is done, ye must choofe your faces wisely, for soon enouff ye will be playing with fyre." ___

_ _“When all izz failed and all izz done. That’zzz where we are, right?” they mumbled. “I… don’t fucking get it!” they groaned. They were never good at middle age english. Or old english, for that matter. That was very much Gabriel’s domain._ _

_ _“When all izz failed and all izz done, you muzzzt choozze your facezz wizzzely, for soon enough you will be playing with fire,” they mumbled. Their buzzing got louder and more prevalent as they panicked more._ _

_ _“Fire?” Gabriel wondered. “Fire. That’s how Heaven…” he paused, rubbing his face as he paced and thought. “Choose your faces wisely, for soon enough you’ll be playing with…” he stopped dead in his tracks, looking up to Beelzebub. “You can survive hellfire just fine.”_ _

_ _“Yezz? I’m a demon.”_ _

_ _“And I’ll not take any harm from holy water.”_ _

_ _“I’m not sure where you’re going.”_ _

_ _“What if you went to heaven, and I went to hell? Shapeshifting is one of your specialties, isn’t it? What if we just… swapped?”_ _

_ _They glanced up, their eyes widening. “That… might-- that might just work…” they closed their eyes, placing a finger on their temple. “They aren’t here yet. If we did it now, they wouldn’t suspect a thing.” Gabriel grinned._ _

_ _“Yes, yes, so get on with it! We’ll be fine! We’ll survive!” he took their hands, grinning wide._ _

_ _“Okay, just don’t smile like that with me,” they instructed, closing their eyes. He watched as they focused, going silent._ _

_ _It was an odd sensation. He blinked, and suddenly he was shorter, and then it was done. He looked at his hands, now small and clawed. He grinned, immediately noticing the sharp teeth in his mouth._ _

_ _“This is terrifyingly weird,” he hummed, looking up to, well, himself. Was Bee really this short? He had never noticed._ _

_ _“Yeah,” they laughed some. “Jesus, am I really that short?”_ _

_ _“I was just thinking that,” he laughed, shivering as he felt his throat vibrate with their constant buzzing. “Ick-- I don’t like that.”_ _

_ _“And I’ve had to deal with it for millenia, suck it up!” they laughed, letting go of their-- his hands. “They’ll come soon. They aren’t nice, be ready for that.”_ _

_ _“Neither are the Archangelzz.. We’ll… we’ll be okay.”_ _

_ _“I’ll go to your shop, you go feed the ducks. They’ll find you.” Gabriel shivered some at that thought. Demons were much too invasive in tracking for his liking. “And when it’s over… meet at the bench.”_ _

_ _He nodded, squeezing their hand briefly. “Be careful.”_ _

_ _“And you.”_ _

_ _Gabriel did as they said, beginning straight to the pond. He stopped at the ice cream stand, noting that they had never once gone to feed the ducks without some ice cream. With that in hand, he began wandering towards the pond. He didn’t like being this tiny. He felt weak. Of course, he knew Beelzebub wasn’t weak, but he felt that way. _ _

_ _They found him before he even made it to the pond. A sharp blow to the back of his head knocked him clean over. Yep, definitely didn’t like being this short. “Well— shit,” he muttered, right before blacking out. _ _

_ _The angels went about their retrieval much more civilly. Albeit, still terrifying, but civil. Bee stood in the small shop Gabriel ran, rubbing the edges of his scarf in their fingers anxiously. They heard the ring of a little bell, glancing up to see the full Entourage of archangels. They stared at them expectedly, so they simply dropped whatever they had been (pretending to be) doing and followed. _ _

_ _Sandalphon Restrained their wrists before anything. Great, to be paraded around London in rope cuffs. Angels were truly sadistic, but they’d never admit it. They were led to the main entrance, and they could see thick, black demon blood where the other escalator started. Gabriel was already taken. _ _

_ _They stayed silent as they were led up, flinching at the harsh lights. Everything was so.. plain. White. Sterile. They only had to be here for the trial and then some, they assured themselves. Except.. there was no trial. They were truly shocked, thinking that heaven would definitely hold one. Hell held them, and it was, well, Hell._ _

_ _Instead, they were sat down on a white, metal chair, and their arms were tied to it. They looked around. Just plain, white walls. Well, for the most part. Another had joined the party; that damned disposable demon that they’d never bothered to learn the name of. He was the only speck of dirt in this place. _ _

_ _Aziraphale stepped back, sighing and motioning to said demon. “Go ahead,” he instructed. _ _

_ _He rubbed his hands together, grinning as he walked forward. In one smooth motion, he created a cyclone of hellfire. All the angels stepped back. Beelzebub merely sighed. _ _

_ _“Well,” they spoke for the first time now, “It was nice knowing you all. May we.. meet on better terms.”_ _

_ _“Shut up and die already,” Aziraphale said coldly as another came to undo the restraints. They sighed, rubbing their wrists as they stood. They had nothing to be afraid of, and yet, they were terrified as they walked towards the fire. They gave one last glare to Azirphale, then stepping in. _ _

_ _It wasn’t unpleasant— far from it. Familiar. Comforting. They sighed softly, closing their eyes with a smile. He heard the others began to murmur, and Aziraphale to claim, “This might be worse than we thought.”_ _

_ _They chuckled at the sentiment, moving to crack their neck from side to side. Then, just so they could have a bit of fun, spit hellfire at the angels. _ _

_ _

_ _Gabriel was surprised that Hell had a trial system. It was unfair, but it was there. It almost made him chuckle, but he refrained._ _

_ _There were many mirrors in hell, narcissism and all that. Beelzebub had done well with the shifting. He noted that there was a distinct change in his—their, features. He knew that some demons changed as they entered hell. Bee, apparently, gained some sort of infection that ran across their face down to their shoulder. And, oddly, he didn’t hate it. Not at all. They were still adorable. He couldn’t tell _what_ exactly it was, but he could only guess it was something with flies. Maybe a disease that transferred through them. ___ _

_ _ _ _He shivered as he considered maybe it was maggots. He tried not to think of that. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Instead, he let it go through, and sighed gently as he was lead to the execution room. It was merely an empty tub with a window for the rest of hell to watch. And boy, did they watch. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Michael was in there, curiously, filling the tub with a bottomless glass pitcher. Crowley stayed silent, dismissing her after it was full._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Should we test it?” Ligur asked, quite eager to see Hastur’s murderer die. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Yes, Ah, you.” Ligur went to snatch up the demon he had pointed to, a little chubby thing. He thrashed and cried, but that ended when he dissolved into the tub. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Real thing,” Ligur conformed. Crowley turned to Gabriel. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Beelzebub,” he hummed. “Traitor of hell, do you have anything left to say?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Oh dear. What would Beelzebub say? Surely something. “This izz a new suit, and I’d rather not soil it, mind if I take it off?” He asked, knowing full well Bee’s underwear was essentially an outfit in itself. They had grown fond of the separated combinations of World War I, something he found incredibly endearing. Crowley rolled his eyes, but nodded. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He kept the fishnet tights on. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“You won’t be missed,” Crowley announced as he walked to the side of the tub. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Good to know,” was all he said, taking a breath before stepping in. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _They waited. And waited. And nothing happened. Gabriel couldn’t keep the stupid grin off of his face. He flicked the water at the windows, sending the demons on the other side into a panicked frenzy._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _He hummed happily, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. “I don’t suppozzzze… that in any of the nine circlezz of Hell, there’zz such thing azz a rubber duck?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Dagon grit her teeth. “They’ve gone native. They’re not… one of us. Anymore.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Crowley looked to Dagon. “Get them out of here,” he ordered. “Everyone go, nothing to see here!” He called, making a shooing motion. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Michael soon came back with another pitcher, making Gabriel hum a bit. “Michael! Dude, do us a quick miracle, I need a bath towel.” He relished the shocked and terrified look on her face as a towel appeared in her hand. She shakily gave it to him, and he pressed it against his face as he dried it off. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Gabriel chuckled, leaning onto the side of the tub. “Well, you might be thinkin’, if they can do this, I wonder what else they can do?” He really adored how terrified Crowley looked. “Pretty soon, you’ll find out. I think, it would be better if I were left alone.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Crowley nodded silently, his tongue flicking out of his mouth. Gabriel nodded some. “Right.”_ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants to see the above mentioned combinations (Edward chemise and knickers), they’re in the first few seconds of this video: https://youtu.be/3GziwpqMZHs


	15. To the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quick wrap-up for this half of the series. Next half will come out later today, knowing me. Thanks all for reading.

Gabriel was waiting on the bench for hours. Enough hours that he was worried. Worried out of his mind. He found that having fangs really did encourage Beelzebub’s habit of chewing one’s lip. What if they hadn’t made it? Maybe they had been found out. They had plenty of holy water up there— what if they actually had been executed? He didn’t really sense them, and while he could have attributed that to them being in heaven. That was something heaven did, it muddled auras. That’s really what he tried to convince himself of. He forgot to imitate Beelzebub’s posture for these hours, sitting straight up, worrying at the edge of their jacket. He tapped his feet on the cement, closing his eyes. 

They shot open, though, when he felt a counterweight on the other side of the bench, the old wood giving way to his own form. He smiled a bit, letting out a relieved sigh; the noise whistling through his fangs. “I thought you were dead,” he whispered, watching as they adjusted to their absolutely terrible posture. “Did they suspect anything?”

“No,” they hummed, closing their eyes. “Completely oblivious. As most of them normally are.” He buzzed quietly, making them laugh. 

“Is anyone looking?” He asked. They closed their eyes, rubbing their temples. 

“Nope, all clear,” they confirmed, reaching to take his hand. He watched their hands, fascinated as his arm, then the left side of his body, returned back to normal. Beelzebub let out a sigh, stretching out their back and adjusting their suit. Gabriel watched them with a smile, then looking forward. 

“I asked them for a rubber duck,” he hummed giddily. “And I asked the archangel Michael to miracle me a towel!”

The demon giggled at the sentiment, their chest buzzing loudly. “That’zzz amazzzing,” they cooed, pulling a leg up to sit beside them. “I spat hellfire at the angels, that’s about it,” they hummed. 

Gabriel wrapped his arm around the little demon, placing a kiss to their head. “Question,” he began. Beelzebub hummed, closing their eyes. “The stuff on your face when you go to hell, what is it?”

Bee went red. Forgot about that. “Uh, myiasis,” they answered shortly. 

“And… that is.. what?”

“Bluebottle maggots,” they admitted sheepishly. Oh, great. The one he really hadn’t hoped for. He shivered some. They laughed nervously. “Forgot that would happen…” they mumbled, looking down. They knew Gabriel would find that disgusting, and that’s why they always took a few days alone after coming back from hell. Gabriel’s celestial energy had made them disappear almost immediately, though. “Sorry. I know it’s gross.”

“I’m not going to deny it’s disgusting, but it’s kind of cool,” Gabriel shrugged. “You’re like your own ecosystem.” He watched the now fully grown flies circle their head, smiling a little bit. 

“...oh, I guess,” they smiled a little bit. 

“But.. question, where did you keep the flies when we were raising Adam?”

“Ah. There were just a few, since I hadn’t gone to hell to let them grow. They stayed on my neck under my hair.” Gabriel hummed, vaguely impressed. 

“Neat,” he smiled a little, closing his eyes. They sat there for a while, the only noise being the buzzing of Bee and their flies. 

“Well,” they cleared their throat some. “Can I tempt you to some dinner?”

“Temptation accomplished,” Gabriel grinned, taking their hand and pulling them to stand. As they walked, Gabriel looked around, observing all the small things he never really noticed. Squirrels, snails, pelicans. Things that would have been gone if they hadn’t intervened. He was even grateful for the moss at this point. 

They wandered back to the Kiln, Bee deciding that they both needed a good drink and a half. They shared their usual basket of chicken, taking back a few beers each. 

When Gabriel felt too full to drink anymore, he simply raised his bottle to Beelzebub. “To the world.”

Bee grinned, clinking their bottle against his. “To the world.”


End file.
